Expressing Your Love – vol. 4
A number of couples that I work with have only known each other a short while before they get engaged. They have lived a life that explores their own identity and their dreams. They have had individual joys and sorrows that shape the person that they have become. When they choose to commit their lives to someone they love, they are not looking to get lost in that person. They are looking to be the right partner to that person. They understand that their individuality enhances their partnership. This is why I love the following passage for a wedding ceremony. It is the reminder that you can love someone with all your heart and soul, yet keep your individuality.
You were born to be together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when the wings of death scatter your days.
Ay, you shall be together even in your silent memory.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
and let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another, but make not a bondage of love.
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other’s cup, but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread, but eat not of the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each of you be alone,
even as the strings of a lute are alone, though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping,
for only the hand of life can contain your hearts.
And stand together, yet not too near together,
for the pillars of the temple stand apart,
and the oak tree and cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.
– “On Marriage” from The Prophet
by Kahlil Gibran